Passionate about positive growth for you
Many years ago, at around ten years old, I said to my mum,
"When I grow up I want to be a psychiatrist."
and much to my dismay, my mum replied,
"Oh honey, I'm sure you'd be great
but you'd come home crying every day."
This shocked me and I protested, asking why she would think that.
She said,
"Because you'd be upset that you can't fix everyone."
...It hit me, hard. It really wasn't what I wanted to hear. I was quite young and criticism, especially when young, is never easy.
But... she was right, though I didn't know it for quite a few years.
I proceeded to work in Musical Theatre, Radio Presenting/Producing, Live TV Presenting/Producing/Directing, Graphics Design for Live TV and Commercial Clients; all before 16. I left school at 15 and moved out, worked full time in Hospitality for a pittance, moved to retail, then to Sales (where I shined because I had the crazy notion that I should listen and care about whom we were selling to) and then eventually Customer Service, Account Management, then finally Personal Assistant/Business Developer.
All of this while I was slowly trying to prove that I wasn't the person my mum was talking about.
See, I hadn't just given up on becoming someone who helps others, it is intrinsic to who I am. The foundation of why I like to talk, to share, to inform and to correct; is all because I want to help and make this world a better place. But what I needed to learn and live through is that some people don't want to change and some need to change at their own pace. If I had tried to do this when I was younger I would have fallen into the trap that many Life Coaches do; demanding that "Success, Money and Happiness" are the only important things. That "hard work" and determination are the only things that get you there and that if you don't get it then you really "aren't pushing hard enough"... a common trope in the self-help industry.
Luckily, due to life, my misfortunes, my curious mind and the people I have let into my life, I know that this is not the whole truth.
Instead, it is a mix of who you are, the situation you are in and the direction of where you want to go that determines how we should approach our goals and aspirations. Slow and steady progress can be just as useful as a large and bounding process for different individuals.
As someone who has done both for various aims in my life while being involved in event planning, Scouts, team sports, business management, personal physical development, education and, of course, a few relationships; you learn that there is no one perfect way to achieve your aims and to live life.
So, you may be wondering then,
"Why did you become a Life Coach if there is no one perfect way to live life?"
Well, I met a girl... no, not a romantic partner, but someone who needed me in her most challenging time while I was going through my most challenging time; coming out of an abrupt and deserved end to a relationship, and overcoming depression and fear-induced isolation. It shaped me into who I am today and why
I am clear on my life's purpose.
This girl (who is now a woman) was 18, struggling with independence from her family who was quasi-abusive. I encouraged her to try and mediate the situation, to express to her parents what she was experiencing but ultimately to make sure she was mentally and physically safe. I supported her through these efforts that were largely, and unfortunately, ignored or dismissed by her family. In an attempt to control her environment they sent her to live with her grandparents and she messaged me distraught. I allowed her to stay at my house until things could be sorted out and she was allowed to be a free and independent member of their family.
What followed was almost a year and a half of an intense 'baptism-by-fire' to the world of mental health support and what it was like to have two hurt and confused individuals supporting and encouraging each other through some of the most rapid and profound changes of their lives. It enlightened me to the value of listening to other's experiences, empathising with experience, and reflecting those experiences back to the person to assess their place in our lives. It sparked the joy and curiosity needed for congruent change and a positive and resilient approach to reality, and ultimately, it validated my view that most, if not all, people can and will change their lives in amazing ways if they are given the right space, questions and tools to do so.
This girl turned woman, left my home a changed person and has stayed in contact with me for the past decade and I couldn't be more proud of what she accomplished in that time and the challenges she has faced. That experience started a fire (that I didn't recognise until three years later) would be the fuel to show me the potential of my life and what I am most passionate about: people finding the life they want to live and actualising it by reaching for their full potential.
What do I do for my clients...
Throughout our coaching relationship, we will work towards making you a resilient and self-aware person; guiding you in applying your competencies, assessing your areas of necessary improvement, finding your inner meaning and intrinsic drive, accepting (and being proud of) who you are, what you are currently lacking and what you have achieved; which are all key factors to happiness and success.
This is founded on the belief that if I can help you understand the core of who you are and what you are capable of, then you are capable and intelligent enough to reach any realistic goal you set for yourself.
I focus on developing Positive Realism (Realistic Optimism), helping you figure out your Self-Concept, improve your Self-Esteem and evaluate your Self-Efficacy. To achieve this I use motivational interviewing, appreciative inquiry, linguistic coaching, exposure therapies (if the client wants to) and powerful questioning to help you re-frame what you need to, grow confident with your fears and deeply understand the discrepancies in your mentality between what you have and the mentality that you want.
There are many differences between some of the most successful and happy people in the world and most of us, but one is usually Resilience and the factors that foster that. I will make sure to help you safely develop your resilience and expand your window of tolerance.
The Philosophy behind this...
By now, you have probably noticed the slogan in my logo, Logic, Apply, Achieve. Clearly, those are the main steps to consciously overcoming any obstacle and they are steps that you have no doubt done previously, but logic requires information, this information is like the numbers in a formula, if you don't have the correct information you will end up with the wrong outcome, an outcome not for you. So what a lot of people in modern society miss is the crucial prerequisite to overcoming obstacles, that is to know yourself.
Therefore the prologue to your beautiful story of transformation is diving deeper into yourself to gain the most accurate information about you, your mind, your aspirations and your inspirations both productive and destructive. These emotions are the fundamental points of information used to build the solid logic that will help guide you to the life you want to live.
My philosophical roots are founded in Stoicism, though I don't exactly call myself a stoic. I found Stoicism late in my life and after my psychotherapeutic training and two decades of life experience since I first started my interest in philosophy; I realised that I had been a Stoic all along and that many of the philosophers I had been fond of and found meaning and guidance through, were inspired by the Stoics. Though, as I had not attached myself to one school of thought, I had collected many interrelated and some obscure philosophies in my time, such as Buddhism, Existentialism, Humanism, Nietzsche and even Nihilism; from moral relativism to moral absolutism, from Hedonism to Asceticism.
All of these influence my focus on coming to understand the mindset of my clients and where their philosophies lay, even if they don't know it, through questions and creating a space for my clients to explore their beliefs even if they are confronting and sometimes stressful to realise. These epiphanies for my clients lead to an opportunity to deeply and accurately reflect on if their philosophies align with their aspirations and if so, how to apply it and if not then how to apply a change.
These fuel behaviour change that lasts beyond the coaching sessions.
Though, in the end, a coach is only half the formula of a coaching relationship, the coachee is the one who decides what changes are made and how committed they are to creating the life they deeply desire or need. Ultimately, the second step, Apply, is one for the coachee to complete. This takes commitment, willpower and honesty with yourself. Though for those that are really struggling with their current life trajectory, no matter how comfortable they are, this can seem like the only option, depending on how much they like their comfort zone.
Together we can work towards understanding yourself and your emotions.
Together we can take that understanding and develop a logical way forward to your goals.
Together we can inspire an urgency to apply the changes you've developed.
Together we can achieve what you have been fighting for.
WHAT MY CLIENTS SAY
Small Business Owner
TAMARA KASSIS
Tarik and I instantly developed a solid partnership and with his dedication to me I was able to deeply connect with myself and what I want for my future, something I’ve struggled with for a long time. His coaching method of asking the right questions at the right time amazed me as well as his overall support. His welcoming atmosphere in our sessions gradually led to an inner understanding of my future goals and creating a healthy mental state by viewing my life and the world in a different perspective that I didn’t think was possible. His very many practical suggestions were extremely helpful and will play an important role in my future career. Working with Tarik was extremely rewarding and I always left my session amazed by the results.
Counsellor and Meditation Facilitator
ANN COX
Tarik has been a wonderful support to me during our coaching plan. He brings a depth of knowledge beyond his years. Our bi-weekly sessions were engaging, thought-provoking and inspire me to reach beyond where I was stuck. His insight, knowledge and tremendous support are highly recommended.
Climber and Mother of two
AIMEE MOFFAT
How do you help someone achieve goals they don't even know they have? I am forever grateful to Tarik for his amazing work, it has changed my whole life. I was going through some tough changes, and I had no direction, no self-confidence, and very minimal goals. I was getting so frustrated with life, being negative and wondering what I was doing wrong. Tarik helped me realise that I DO know what I want for my future, and I CAN get there, I just needed a little prompting and the right questions at the right time, and Tarik was able to coach me through this. He is patient, yet persistent. He does not cut corners nor do the hard work for you, but helps you to create a plan to achieve your goals yourself so that you take those skills into other aspects of your life and thrive. I always leave our sessions feeling inspired and excited for what comes next in life. Because of Tarik’s sessions, and my willingness to participate, I am finally happy and on the path I want to be on.
Nurse and outdoor enthusiast
KEVIN AQUINO
Tarik's coaching has helped me get out of my comfort zone, and enjoy life outside of the routine. His coaching helped me conquer my fear of heights; though I still get nervous when high up on a bouldering wall, I no longer freeze. From panicking after climbing 1 metre on an indoor bouldering wall to climbing the whole wall in 3 weeks. When Tarik coaches, he is patient and persistent. If you give him your goal, he will guide you to achieve it, not using force to reach outcomes, instead, he guides his clients and helps them achieve their goals as if they achieved it by themselves.
Current Education
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Bachelors of Psychotherapy Counselling/Coaching
@ Australian College of Applied Psychology (ACAP) Ongoing - 3rd Year
Certifications/Accreditations
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Pending member of the International Coaching Federation
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Student Member of Psychotherapists and Counsellors Federation of Australia (PACFA)
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Student Member of Australian Counsellors Association (ACA)
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Mental Health First Aid Accredited (MHFA)
Professional Development Workshops Completed
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Business Consulting
(Presented by Slaven Drinovac) -
Career Development
(Presented by Tyson Day) -
Psychosocial Recovery from Disaster
(Presented by Dr. Susie Burke) -
Regulating Existential Feelings
(Presented by Kevin Keith, PHD) -
Dealing with Grief, Mourning and Bereavement
(Presented by Beate Steller) -
Delivering Psychotherapy via Online Therapy
(Presented by Dr Louise Roufeil & Kaye Frankcom)
-
Transitioning Clients to Online Therapy
(Presenting by Renee McDonald) -
An Introduction to PTSD in First Responders
(Presented by Dr. Tony McHugh) -
Men's Health - Crisis at the Crossroads
(Presented by Tony Johannsen) -
Working with Trauma and Hope
(Presented by Dr. Dennis O'Hara) -
Psychosocial Implications of a Global Pandemic
(Presented by Dr. Susie Burke) -
Reinventing Resilience – Insights from Patient & Therapist
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An Introduction to Transpersonal Psychology
Fun Achievements
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WMFC/HMB Silver Medalist
Tampere Finland
August 2016
Full Contact Medieval Fighting - 5v5 -
WMFC Medalist
Urbino, Italy
October 2016
Full Contact Medieval Fighting - 1v1 -
World Championship Fighter
Team Australia 3
Prague, Czech Republic
May, 2016
Full Contact Medieval Fighting - 5v5
Leadership Achievements
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Outdoor climb leader/facilitator
(2021 - Present) -
Camp Chief
Ethnic Scout and Guide Association of Victoria
(2015, 2016, 2017) -
Commandant
Ethnic Scout and Guide Association of Victoria
(2018, 2019, 2021) -
Host/Manager
Climbing Adventures - Melbourne
(2017 - Present)
